GANG AFT AGLEY, AN' LEA'E US NOUGHT BUT GRIEF AN' PAIN

(Bobby Burns can take care of himself. No apologies to Emily Dickenson, none at all.) Sandy was Editor of OC Mensa's The Oracle for two years and didn't get tattooed or pierced even once. We've had more than one Editor go a little, well, strange during their tenure. Heck, we've had an artist institutionalized and major psycho-pharma'd into rehab. Sandy done real good - and she wiggles a tight figure-eight when she walks. It drives Feminazis into screaming fits of envy. We're waiting for one of them to volunteer as her replacement. Here we go...

There's an Editor in OC that we are going to lose,
Her term was up in April, she can't be bought with booze.
She laughed so when it ended, it like to broke our hearts,
The Board declined a handsome bribe, ere she would depart.

She's the paraclete of format, the voice of burning Hell,
Her claws are sharp as daggers, they do their job so well;
You may talk about the Calendar, and sing of SIGS for free,
The Oracle's old Editor is set to cut and flee.

When submissions were a-flowing, her eyes were starry bright,
She pattered on the keyboard in daylight and in night:
You'd better send in something, it better had be new,
Don't come along as passengers when you can be the crew.

How will we find another, how will we steal a soul?
What mind is up for rental, how will be meet our goal?
Our Editor is leaving, our Editor's ex-pelf.
Roust your leaden butts you swine, and volunteer yourself.

Here's the deal:

• If you can wangle software so arcane that it has one screen for each of your eyes - three of them,
• If your cell phone carries a Scrabble dictionary in non-volatile RAM,
• If you IQ has more sigmas than an industrial manager has documentation,
• If you were a virgin until somebody got you dead drunk and abandoned you in Tijuana (equal opportunity male/female/other),
• If seeing blood (not yours) thrills you as much as letting it,
• If your ego is too large for your own good (and others'),
• If you can herd cats,

Join OC Mensa and you are the next Editor of The Oracle. It gets you off jury duty, folks! (We also need an artist. Tattooed and pierced no problem. Awakening in a psycho holding cell with your face being smashed into the floor by somebody even crazier than you should be limited to the interval between mailing and next issue deadline. Get some structure into your life.)

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