To view something awesomely strange...
CHASTITY Cultural fetishes are Apollonian (hypocritically chaste - heterosexually celibate priests and altar boys) or Dionysian (orgiastic in countless ways, none of which solicit pretense). Little else gathers zealots. Non-Western societies affirmed chaste makes waste. Western civilization embraces the cult of the virgin (the halfling faggot god-on-a-stick's reputed mommy), disbursing endless misery and moral fraud.
Everybody is Dionysian. Puritanism is the dread suspicion that someone somewhere is making merry. Puritan outhouses sported the crescent moon, ventilative sly allusion to a naughtily winking eye. Puritans chastised offenders by public incarceration in stocks, allowing anonymous and unimpeded midnight violation of hindquarters. (Whether queues formed is undocumented.)
FRUGALITY Frugality is the myth that financial chastity is laudable. Fat priests in silken raiment, inflation, taxation, Welfare, the military, government, corporations, Hollywood, sports, bankruptcy proceedings... argue otherwise. As with its fleshly cousin, delusions of frugality are honored in the breach. The Protestant ethic and legendary Japanese prudence are surface gloss upon dramatic roiling gambles and lucid pecuniary plunges. Like a duck swimming, only the surface is placid.
Homeostasis is an impossible steed that sends the rider sliding down the razor blade of life. There is no sustainable anything. Grow or die.
SOBRIETY There is no sobriety. Breathe deeply and rapidly until dizzy, then take a deep breath and hold it. Whee! For a bigger thrill hyperventilate while on the floor and then abruptly stand. Legislate that away! The brain is heir to a smorgasbord of recreational pharmaceuticals: ethanol, nicotine, caffeine; hallucinogens, depressants, antidepressants, opiates, stimulants, tranquilizers, euphoriants, anesthetics, hypnotics, neuroleptics, anticholinergics, parasympathomimetics... and chocolate.
Self-medication is a rational response to life in a toxic society, one sodden with the seven deadly virtues. Society retaliates with the War on Drugs to impress its will. Drug convicts enjoy any drug desired as all are rife within prisons.
CHARITY No good deed proceeds unpunished. Charity is assault of the weak upon the strong. Charity breeds corruption with enfeeblement. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a fishing pole and Workers Compensation feeds him for life. Rational charity is investment, and not limited to money. Stupid charity is social engineering and income redistribution - wastrel Federally-mandated aberration profusely ruinous to everything it touches.
The social reconstruction of reality is the politically correct imposition of notional, fictive, and nugatory (philosophically satisfying, personally remunerative) Liberal Leftist political canon upon an unwilling society. Affirmative Action, Equal Opportunity, preferential hiring, Gay Rights, other-ablement, Special Education, Welfare, Social Security, counseling, safety net... sum to swindling earned wealth from the productive and fashioning it into a stake driven through their own hearts.
FAITH Faith caresses ignorance. Faith is the face of god rampant upon an entrepreneur's stained wall. Faith is a magnetic hernia truss. Faith is a sea of horribly defrauded Third World devout smearing anemic blood upon crude paving stones before a beaming cleric whose pendulous belly is swathed in gold-threaded vestments. Faith is one god, three gods, untold gods; a thousand saints, angels beyond tally; altars, sacrifices, mutilation, martyrdom; legends of a mighty past, promises of an incredible future, and vile demands for money up front in futile pursuit of post mortem estrow.
Faith is a multi-level marketing opportunity awaiting bunko artists and victims. Faith is analysis without mathematics. Faith is rotted optimism. Faith is a perpetual test of faith.
HUMILITY Common themes of the Seven Deadly Virtues are punishment of the productive and reward of the unproductive. Humility is the personal abrogation of acquired reputation. It is loudly championed by those least burdened by its restraints and by victims beleaguered by its abundance and endeavoring to traffic in its assets lest their enviable condition persist.
Lecherous moralists (Princess Diana, Jimmy Bakker, Martin Luther King, the Kennedys), despicable aesthetes (any museum trading tax write-offs for modern "art"), and vows of poverty amidst untold wealth (the One True Church - all of them, plus governments), illustrate the repugnance owed the professionally humble.
TRANQUILITY The spiral ascent of civilization ultimately rests upon very few very narrow treads. Anger, envy, avarice, lust, pride, hate, and hunger are surely the strongest. Man was meant to live, not exist; to reach beyond his grasp, to be forever curious, to seize what is others', to grab God by the throat and spit a steaming spew right in His eye. Fat happy simpletons whether swathed in monks' robes or Liberal Arts Departments are an insult to the species. The only sane place is behind the trigger, for immortality has no impetus to improve.
Anything Officially forbidden is at least worth considering. Remember the Eleventh Commandment and keep it wholly: Thou shalt not get caught.
To return to Uncle Al Outrage Central, click here
To view something awesomely strange...