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Dr. Schund, how may I more efficiently allocate the time remaining to me?
Sleep squanders one third of the 78 year human lifespan. The loss of 26 years of life seems negligible when we, in our childhoods, persist in exploring the intricacies of tying our shoe laces and are hormonally ill-suited to savoring the vulgarities saturating cable TV Pay-Per-View. As we enter the forth and fifth decades of life rich with financial, political, recreational, sensual, and sexual improprieties of every imaginable denomination we sense the slippage of our grasp upon our lives as our bodies betray us with their oncoming senescence. What coin will procure an incremental decade of decadence while we can yet enforce the resolute prerogatives of our appetites?
Sleep research has shown that of the several stages of slumber through which we repeatedly cycle in our eight hours of repose, the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) phase is of absolute necessity to sustain sanity. Much of the typical eight hours is exhausted in a wastrel frenzy of prologue and aftermath - an elegant but valueless gavotte sloppily evolved throughout our ascent from multicellular slime to the incipient deities that we are. As we delight in imposing the powers our maturity has earned we are robbed of its duration by superfluous evolutionary baggage.
Dr. Schund embraces the concept of time multiplexing and gallantly brings forth another fatted calf for all humankind. The wasteful linear progression of sleep can be enfolded within itself. Useless periods of overture and denouement can be vertically stacked and temporally interleaved so that each preamble period unfolds within the empty spaces of the first preamble period. The multiple sheafs and swaths of REM sleep become a nested recursion in the manner of a set of Russian matryoshka dolls. Each cycle resolution can then unfold within the numerous inactive gaps of the first resolution. Dr. Schund discloses a blueprint for telescoping eight wasted hours into a few well-invested minutes. Behold the liberator of a rapacious mankind: Speed Sleep.
Nominee Speed Sleepers undergo a period of intense training wherein they grasp their insensibility and sculpt its sequencing, hierarchy, progression and outcome. The proficient Speed Sleeper implements a cascading oneiric interdigitation in which multiple nested layers of dreams propagate. The Speed Sleeper dreams a dream of sleeping. Said somnolence in turn begets a dream - one of sleeping. Its dream is one of sleeping, which bears a dream... Within minutes of unforced doze the expert Speed Sleeper will descend hundreds of levels to grasp the Jewel in the Lotus. The equivalent of tens of hours of REM sleep can be multiplexed into the Speed Sleep Descent, the Rebound, and the equally steep Return. The Speed Sleeper awakens refreshed and utterly energized with hardly a quarter hour elapsed.
As with all philosophies of substance and generators of seriously abundant cash, rogue entrepreneurs have sought to heinously wrest the Brobdingnagian profits of certified Speed Sleep franchises from the honest, hardworking hands of legitimate concession owners and, much more seriously, from Dr. Schund himself. This warning is broadcast in direst tones: A chintzy, sleazy pusher may introduce the unsuspecting novitiate to the deepest levels of Speed Sleep for the standard pre-paid fare, but neglect to emphasize the importance and mechanism of creating and setting the Echelon Status Counter allowing finite return. How awkward it can be to be forever lost within your mind, trapped like a bug in amber within an etheric transfinite nether world of cognitive recursion. Beware the bludgeoning abyss of the Closed Loop.
As the Speed Sleeper metamorphoses into an adept at his craft and as his personal finances are increasingly sequestered by his Oneiromeister, broader vistas of internal transfiguration are unfolded before him. The Descent, the Rebound, and the Return are abandoned for the Plunge, the Hyper-Bounce, the Eruption and, for the most advanced students yet retaining vestiges of wealth, the Detonation.
Why should the Speed Sleeper settle for returning to the modest level of his flawed consciousness when the ratchet and pawl of Return or Eruption can be totally released? Let descent be mirrored by ascent. Let the Speed Sleeper attain a boundless recursive multiplex amplification of his conscious mind. Let some call it GOD.
Has anyone seen Dr. Schund?
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