Agnosticism Shit may or may not happen. Apathism I don't care if shit happens. Atheism Sheeit! Baha'i Shit happens to everyone equally. Baptist Gonna wash this shit right outta my hair! Branch Davidianism This shit really burns me up. Buddhism If shit happens, it really isn't shit. Calvinism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough. Cartesianism I think, therefore shit happens. Catholicism Shit happens because you are BAD. Channeling Now happening as Shit. Christian Science Shit only happens within your mind. Church of England Excrement transpires. Church of the Sub-Genius Well, shit, Bob! Confucianism Confucius say, "shit happens." Druidism Shit happens in the woods. Episcopalianism Shit happened to my ancestors. est I acknowledge my shit. Evangelism Will you accept shit happening into your heart? Existentialism What is shit, anyway? Heaven's Gate The shit will fly! Hedonism There is nothing like a good shit happening. Hinduism This shit happened before. Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, knock... shit happens. Jim Jones Drink shit and die. Judaism Why does shit always happen to me? Krishna Consciousness Shit happens, rama rama. Mensa The top 2% of shit happening. Lutheranism Here shit happens; God help me, I can do no other. Methodism Shit happens; support group available. Moonies Only happy shit really happens. Mormonism You must look closely at the turd. New Age Shit is the Goddess. Nihilism No shit! Paganism Earth, air, fire, water, shit. Presbyterianism This shit happens to be too dear. Protestantism Let shit happen to somebody else. Psychic Saw shit coming; got hit from behind. Puritanism Shit happens with our permission. Quaker Geet thy shit together, Friend. Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit. Roman Catholicism Christ died for your shit. Santaria Don't even THINK of shitting on me! Satanism Shit is the best part. Schroedingerism Shit does not happen until you observe it. Scientific Methodism Skatole-bearing anomalies materialize. Scientology Does shit happen? (See page 469). Shintoism Farts happen. Seventh Day Adventism No shit happens on Saturdays. Stoicism This shit happens to be good for me. Taoism Shit happens. Televangelism Send all your money or shit will happen. Transcendental Meditation 7000 meditators make harmonious shit happen. Unitarianism Shit happens; discussion at 2:00 pm. United Church of Canada Let us all share equally in shit happening. Weight Watchers You pay for excess shit at weigh-in. Wicca Shit happens to be good fertilizer. Zen What is the sound of one shit happening? Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time.