LITTLER FLEAS

(smjames@my-dejanews.com, the redoubtable Inflatable Space Bunny, issues an original breakthrough in social theory, _canada_.)

Economics emphatically eructates erudite idiot froth fomenting injury and death over vast swaths of societies. Thus 1976 Nobel Laureate Milton Friedman and his Boys from Chicago (Wharton School of Economics) begat stagflation and "Whip Inflation Now!" of the Ford and Carter administrations in the 1970s to 1980s. With Reagan firmly in office thereafter the humbugs toted their sheaves of differential equations to Chile wherein they clothed another Emperor. August Pinochet partied to the max and was subsequently found wandering the streets bare-assed.

Political science short of fictional Hari Seldon has never enjoyed the merest jot of pedantic respectability routinely afforded economics, the dismal science. The best it can do is the supple arithmetic of ballot box stuffing, which was good enough to win Lyndon Johnson his first Texas election but not so good as to win the Vietnam War, even by fiat. Inflatable Space Bunny ventures a conceptual breakthrough to afford poli. sci. a rigorous analytical mathematical foundation, albeit with the fluidity of Burnham Wood (which is a feature, not a bug). Political science can now belly up for Federal grants to fund studies to determine what studies are needed, and thereafter to be funded.

Given a community A and an adjacent community C such that A is affluent and populous and C is less affluent and populous. Given nonreciprocated interest of C in the internal affairs of A, C will require ego compensation by sporadic noisy and noisome display of its locally perceived superiority over A. In this case C is said to be the _canada_ of A, C = canada(A). As examples, it is empirically established that

canada(California) = Oregon
canada(New York) = New Jersey
canada(Australia) = New Zealand
canada(England) = Scotland
canada(India) = Pakistan
canada(Pakistan) = Bangladesh
canada(Bangaldesh) = urban Washington, DC

The _canada_ function can be applied externally and globally and also internally and recursively, hence The Fractal Theory of Canada alluded to in the preceding: For all C there exists C' such that C' = canada(C)

canada(Japan) = USA
canada(USA) = Canada
canada(Canada) = Nunavut
canada(Nunavut) = Quebec
canada(Quebec) = Celine Dion
canada(Celine Dion) = Alise Morisette

canada(brain) = intestines
canada(intestines) = colon
canada(colon) = appendix
canada(appendix) = hemorrhoid
canada(hemorrhoid) = canthariasis

Does the hierarchy bottom out at individuals? An individual is a community of tissues, tissues of cells, cells of molecules, and down the echelon progression eventually into the quantum froth of evanescent vacuum zero point fluctuations.

canada(hadron) = quark
canada(quark) = gluon
canada(lepton) = neutrino...
canada(vacuum) = stochastic electrodynamics

canada(US Marines) = military
canada(military) = NATO
canada(NATO) = Homeland Severity
canada(Homeland Severity) = BATF
canada(BATF) = SWAT
canada(SWAT) = police
canada(police) = gangbangers
canada(gangbangers) = Girls with Guns
canada(Girls with Guns) = kids with matches
canada(kids with matches) = United Nations

As 2001 - A Space Odyssey's Dave Bowman would be wont to exclaim, "My God! It's full of canadas!" Would that be canadas everywhere you do look, canadas everywhere you can look (stochastic), or canadas everywhere period (ergodic)? Ha ha! You cannot fool me! It's canadas all the way down!

Nixon's political career from being Senator McCarthy's confidant in the early 1950s, through Eisenhower, the John F. Kennedy election debacle, the Presidency, and eventually Watergate is thus nicely aggregated into a gestalten gegen-understanding: the hohlraum of canada(Richard Milhouse Nixon). Like assessments peel back the many political layers of Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Harold Stassen, and Nelson Rockefeller. Jumping across the pond we appreciate canada(English Empire), and why Italy persists - quantum zero point oscillation about a null point, canada(Italy) = Heisenberg Uncertainty (re the harmonic oscillator).

What will this powerful new engine of political cognition bring forth? Its austere simplicity of application runs counter to the hermeneutics of politics and its heretofore heuristic management. An appropriate and dense jargon must evolve sufficient to shield shibboleths against incursion. Jacques Derrida's deconstruction repositioned literature, achieving utter incomprehensibility even to its own cognoscenti. Thus it must be with _canada_. Black Studies, Wymyn's Studies, and Brown/Hispanic/Latino/Chicano Studies will all be wept aside to make room for the new man in town. We have at last achieved a millennial milestone in our understanding of ourselves:

canada(ethnic history) = poli. sci.
canada(poli. sci.) = poli. sci.


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