STURGEON WAS AN OPTIMIST

Theodore Sturgeon, respected creative and prolific science fiction author, shed the following offhand remark which instantly codified as Sturgeon's Law: "90% of everything is shit." One might visit a university library and walk through Women's Studies or hyphenated-American literature areas and wonder where Sturgeon's 10% is cloistered. Why pay parking fees? The 90% will come knocking at your door, then break it down demanding entry.

"Laundry balls" or "laundry discs" are hawked through direct marketing/multi-level marketing/boiler room operations. They "eliminate the need for detergents" in your laundry through the processes of technobabble, New Age hind gut fermentation, and slick sales technique (lies). Typically there are two or three of them, maybe 2 or 3 inches in diameter, and you dump them in with the wash. This saves you incredible sums of money vs soap as soon as you amortize your the initial $75-100 investment. (Detergents remove dirt from the whole of Terran civilization. This gives Enviro-whiners a wedgie.)

Excerpted from the product sheet from "Real Goods:"

This is crap. It is nothing but crap. It is only crap. It is purely crap. It is clarified, concentrated, distilled, condensed, polished, packaged, and briskly shoved up your fundament while homing in on your wallet crap.

It is the worst kind of pandering magnetic hernia truss multi-level marketing to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams by tomorrow without so much as a lick of personal inconvenience crap. It is Lotto crap, Publisher's Clearinghouse crap, Home Shopping Network crap, infomercial crap, Bre-X crap, hollow Earth crap, flat Earth crap, Heaven's Gate crap, Chariots of the Gods crap, quartz crystal crap, teleevangelical crap, thinner thighs in 30 days crap, other-ablement crap, Homeland Security crap, Virgin Mary on a taco crap, Elvis on a taco crap, War on Drugs crap, War on Poverty crap, night basketball crap, eat oat bran crap, breast enlargement cream crap, buy the Brooklyn Bridge at only a tiny fraction of its true value crap, 1000-year old ginseng crap, 5000 yogic floaters to cleanse the world crap, free energy crap, anti-gravity crap, hot young girls waiting for your call crap, psychics hot line crap, never change your engine oil again crap, interpret your dreams crap, sure-fire horse betting crap, Superman squeezing a lump of coal into a blue white and perfect fully faceted 290 carat diamond crap...

... Nigerian bank account finders' fee crap, Peace Dividend crap, Bosnian/Somali/Northern Ireland/Iraqi pacification crap, peace in our time crap, Pacem in Terris crap, Limits to Growth crap, "Whip Inflation Now" crap, I am not a crook crap, nukular engineer crap, I didn't inhale crap, Health Care Crisis crap, Department of Energy crap, marijuana will kill you crap, chastity crap, tobacco isn't addictive crap, burning tobacco isn't carcinogenic crap, children kidnapped over the Internet and sold into hebephile pornography crap...

...MBA crap, human factors engineering crap, social engineering crap, Project Head Start crap, thousand points of light crap, compassion crap, nurturance crap, sensitivity counseling crap, Special Olympics crap, learning disablement crap, Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity/diversity crap, multiculturalism crap, multilingualism crap, Kwanzaa crap, Days of Rage crap, Nobel Prize in Literature crap, automotive airbags crap, commuter lane crap, the E*L*E*C*T*R*I*C car crap, the H*Y*D*R*O*G*E*N car crap, the H*Y*D*R*O*G*E*N economy crap, the C*O*R*N economy crap, oil shale can save America crap, Canadian tar sands can save America crap, recycled post-consumer waste crap, low volume flush toilet crap, fuel from biomass (crap) crap...

...Sharpen your spent razor blades in a pyramid crap, dynamic tension crap, Detroit has suppressed the engine that runs on water crap, this won't hurt crap, the all you can eat diet crap, it works while you sleep crap, that's just standard boilerplate crap, natural crap, free crap, new crap, quality crap, special crap, revolutionary crap, breakthrough crap, sale crap, luxury crap, lifestyle crap, a new you in minutes crap, your money back crap, turn your old crap into $ crap, work at home crap, never needs replacement crap...

...Arabs may own American ports without endangering America crap, Workers' Paradise crap, Democratic Republic of [you name it] crap, New Soviet Man crap, Save the Earth crap, Furbish lousewort crap, clothe animals to hide their genitalia crap, N-rays crap, Krebiozen crap, amygdalin crap, smart drugs crap, coffee enemas to cure cancer crap, cosmic consciousness crap, orgone energy crap, aura crap, astral plane crap, astrology crap, ouija board crap...

Getting back to laundry disks, why don't you buy several different sets? You might be able to match up a bundle that really works. Think of the money you will make!


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