Dr. Schund, life only incorporates chiral molecules of one handedness yet most chemical synthesis produces both mirror images in equal amounts. What happens to the other stuff when it is introduced into, gasp!, the environment?
If it made a difference, chiral xenobiotics isolated from sewage treatment (given that they originate in synthetic racemic mixtures) would accumulate unnatural optical isomers (the fraction of natural ones being naturally degraded). This would be trivially evident on a megatonne scale - the huge ingested amounts of synthetic Vitamin E, major pharmaceuticals like Prozac and ibuprophen, residues of weathered polypropylene... precipitating a magnitude of Enviro-whiner caterwauling like unto Hillary Ramrod Clinton turning up preggers with Christ II.
It doesn't, they don't, and don't bother waiting for Godot. If they did said activated sludge would be worth a fortune as an optically resolved racemate. Separating optical isomers is an expensive technically complex undertaking. Scooping them up like ditch water would be an epiphany to the chemical industry.
BAN BACON! Potassium nitrite crystallizes in an optically chiral unit cell, and cured swine products are made using the solid racemate! NATURAL PIG MEAT PRESERVATIVE ONLY!
BAN PHASE-LOCKED and RESONANT RF CIRCUITS! Cultured quartz crystals are grown 100% right-handed optically, left-handed geometrically. YOUR CELLPHONE COULD BE EMITTING RADIO WAVES OF UNNATURAL DERIVED CHIRALITY!
Dr. Schund demands an immediate National War on Unnatural Quartz! EVERY SAND GRAIN everywhere must be Federally certified natural chiral before it is allowed on a beach! Every beach must be isolated from human contact until the crystalline silica hazard is contained!
SAVE OUR CHILDREN! More studies are needed. I want a billion dollars. NOW.
Does it stop here? No! Enviro-whiners outraged at the cheap and effective use of ethylene glycol as automotive coolant cast about for something expensive and shoddy. They found it in propylene glycol antifreeze. Propylene glycol has an asymmetric carbon atom smack dab in the center of every one of its molecules. There is left-handed propylene glycol and there is right-handed propylene glycol. There is God's blessed propylene glycol and there is seed of Satan propylene glycol. Can we as a great nation tolerate the meaningless rape of our wallets by nugatory outrage without massively compounding the incursion by demanding optical purity? Purity at any cost, by any means, of any sort will Save our Children! Surrender your wallet or be a baby killer.
It does not have to stop here, oh no! Every screw, light bulb, pickle jar cover, gas cap, and drill bit is already mandated right-handed by jackbooted State fiat. Wait.... New York City transportation incandescent bulbs are strictly LEFT-HANDED! Do we detect Commie incursions flaunted as left-handed compliments, gaucheries, sinister plots... Wake up America and grab your guns! (Screw the Sullivan law.) Today it is demands for ambidextrous disposable gloves! Tomorrow it will be leftist ruin!
Gun barrel rifling is handed.
Circularly polarized electromagnetic radiation is chiral. Do your children interpose a quarter wave plate between linearly polarized light sources like a clear blue sky and their sinfully exposed integuments? Do YOU wear Polaroid sun glasses? Homeland Severity will be on you like stink on an Arab.
We stand on the threshold of a vast international helicity conspiracy. Every twining morning glory is a spike - no, a screw! - in our coffins. We are doomed helplessly circle in place as cyclonic weather patterns are amplified into sacrosanct maelstroms of conquering vorticity. Will England, Japan, and Australia driving to the left possibly balance the whole of civilization driving to the right? HA HA HA!
Official truth says Cold War missile bunkers have been decommissioned. The real truth is embodied within a colossal Top Secret/Lotus Eater complicity embracing major universities throughout this great nation. Right-handed amino acids and left-handed sugars have been stockpiled for a monstrous push into infernal regions. Ten-foot thicknesses of reinforced concrete and 20-tonne armored doors barely contain the reverse chiral atrocities of Umpolung Life.
The Ur-soldier awaits. Unable to survive eating ambient food of ordinary chirality, Umpolung Life animals are wholly dependent upon Umpolung Life plants. Umpolung soldiers are totally loyal and never surrender, for as prisoners of war they must assuredly starve and die. Utterly invulnerable to disease, animal venoms, and protein plant poisons like ricin they will stride across a poisoned battlefield as the enemy writhes in agony.
Dr. Schund offers select investors a unique opportunity to get in on the ground floor of multinational Unpolung Life Bordellos, Inc. Our boys will need R&R (or possibly S&S). Let us all make a handsome profit handing it to them.