THE BAD AMERICAN
(from George Carlin)

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican. Owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American. Being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything that money can buy. If you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English. Fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. Being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened. Everyone has a right to pray to his or her God/s when and where they want to. Amen. My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, Norman Schwarzkopf, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer. I don't hate the rich; I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? "Amen!.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. They have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. If you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years. I dislike people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets. It doesn't take a village to raise a child; it takes two parents.

And what the Hell is going on with gas prices... again?

We need our country back! Then we need to go out and deliver a big 12-pack of whoop-ass to some ragheads.

(Things have changed during the decade after this was written. Every form, flavor, and colour of squawking, squealing, whining, extorting social advocacy has made them worse.)