THE THOUGHTS OF UNCLE AL, V

1. Civilization is the slow process of ignoring the fears and appetites of minorities.
2. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
3. Quality is caused, not controlled.
4. Imagination is a weapon in the war against reality.
5. Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt. Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
6. The only way to predict the future is to invent it.
7. The engineer's first problem in any design situation is to discover what the problem really is.
8. Sometimes you must create what you want to be part of.
9. Minds have the same power as hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
10. Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
11. Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.
12. The tendency of democracies is, in all things, to mediocrity.
13. A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan.
14. There is nothing so asinine that governments will not proclaim it as official doctrine.
15. Politics... is the systematic organization of hatreds.
16. The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
17. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
18. Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
19. Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
20. Politics is the art of preventing people from sticking their noses in things that are properly their business.
21. Laws do not persuade just because they threaten.
22. The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
23. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
24. In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.
25. Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
26. The wages of sin depend on what kind of deal you make with the devil.

    Who are you?
    What do you want?
    Why are you here?
    Where are you going?

27. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
28. "What the Hell" is usually the right decision.
29. It takes a long time to find a shorter way.
30. The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
31. Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
32. The First Amendment is often inconvenient. Inconvenience does not absolve the government of its obligation to tolerate free speech.
33. Change is good, but dollars are better.
34. I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering of others.
35. The best argument against democracy is a five minute talk with the average voter.
36. A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
37. Stupid is a boundless concept.
38. Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
39. Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
40. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
41. Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
42. Always be nice to secretaries
43. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
44. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
45. Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
46. Every nation ridicules other nations - and all are right.
47. Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
48. Where facts are few, experts are many.
49. If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
50. A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to Hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
51. Every revolution evaporates to leave behind the slime of a new bureaucracy.
52. Those who stare at the past have their backs turned to the future.
53. If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.
54. They can because they think they can.
55. Since when is "public safety" the root password to the Constitution?
56. Never cut what you can untie.
57. Beware the fury of a patient man.
58. Where facts are few, experts are many.
59. You can delegate authority but not responsibility.
60. Social activism is a sharp image of a fuzzy concept.
61. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

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