Indulge yourself!
Own a copy of UNCLE AL!

Confound your critics, boost your SAT Verbal score, and give the folks tapping your phone a big thrill!


Uncle Al brings you more than 1000 doses of erudite outrage. (First ecstasy, then laundry.) Thwart the state-controlled manufacture of echoes. Stop solving problems with the thinking that created them. Exercise the maturity to plan for decadence. Own the Uncle Al essay collection! Download brief essay summaries (61K ZIP archive; ASCII text). We have come for a piece of all mankind.

What will you receive? 1000+ essays, essay concordance; a menu for searching, viewing, and printing... when I get the silly thing fully into HTML. There's a whole bunch of stuff here.

Free updates! When you own the Uncle Al collection, you get free essay and index file updates when the main page essay count jumps. That's... forever! When the Uncle Al collection goes to pure HTML in 2005, upgrades to that are free to prior owners too. Does life get any better than that?
Ask for a PC 3.5" HD disk set (sorry, Apple). Is it worth les than $(US)0.02 an essay? Absolutely! Include your e-mail address, your snail mail return address, and either $18.00 in United States' cash, check, or money order (payable to "Uncle Al Schwartz")
or, if you must,

          Dollars (Australia)      32.00
          Dollars (Canada)         30.00
          Dollars (New Zealand)    40.00
          Dollars (Hong Kong)     155.00
          Euro    (Europe)         20.00
          Francs  (France)        130.00
          Francs  (Switzerland)    35.00
          Marks   (Germany)        40.00
          Pesos   (Mexico)        200.00
          Pounds  (Britain)        13.00
          Rand    (South Africa)  125.00
          Rupees  (India)         870.00
          Yen     (Japan)        2200.00
(Includes shipping & handling.)

Email Uncle Al!

Bring Uncle Al Into Your Home, School, or Office

He who lives with the most toys has the best ride.

To return to Uncle Al Outrage Central, click here CAT SPIT